oirée
oirée
The set-up
Set up your space to create an atmosphere that invites connection, exploration, and play.
Gather a few items for each of the five senses – Sight, Sound, Smell, Taste, & Touch. Aim for no more than three items for each category to avoid overwhelm, unless you already know that ‘less is not more’.
If it is a surprise for a partner, you can either cover all the goodies, or have it displayed beautifully as part of the experience.
Once you get into the flow of things, pick one sense at a time to explore, tease, and play with your partner. Go slow, don’t rush, stay present.
This can also be a moment of gentle curiosity:
- ‘Does this taste good to you?’
- ‘Do you like this kind of touch?’
- ‘What do you think this smell is?’
To heighten the experience, as well the other senses, you could get your partner to use a blindfold
(unless it is the sense of sight, of course).
If you enjoy a touch of kink, you can use handcuffs or other restraints too, as long as it is accompanied by a full embodied YES!
Or if you want to be a bit more playful, you may off a reward for a correct guess correct, and withhold the reward if they get the answer wrong.
Let your imagination run wild 🙂
** As always, CONSENT is essential!
Why this is a great date idea:
Sex and intimacy is often viewed as something involving genitals only, and with the specific goal of reaching an orgasm.
The Sensual Soirée shifts the focus away from performance, to presence, connection, and embodied pleasure. It invites you to slow down, to notice, and to discover, both yourself and your partner, in a more spacious and curious way.
This date requires some creativity and preparation, and that in itself serves as a ritual for getting into the right frame of mind for an amazing experience.
Taking your time, being present with yourself or a partner is also a way to learn what you enjoy, and what you don’t in the moment.
Examples:
TASTE
Solo connection
Choose something to eat or drink, and do so mindfully.
First look at it; notice its colour, shape, and size… Feel its texture, weight, and temperature. Bring it closer to your face and inhale its aroma.
Close your eyes before tasting it. Taste it slowly to let the texture and flavor linger in your mouth.
Be mindful and intentional. This practice involves almost all of the senses!
For couples
If you have organized this as a ‘treat’ for your partner, then you can invite them to close their eyes, or they can wear a blindfold.
Choose an item from your taste board and hold it close so they can smell it.
They can even hold out their hand to touch it, or you feel it gently against their skin. Then slowly offer it to them to taste.
Be curious together, ask:
- ‘What do you think it is?’
- ‘Do you like the taste of this?’
- ‘What do you like most about this?’
If this is for both of you, take turns to feed each other, slowly.
SIGHT
Solo connection
Sit in front of a mirror and gently gaze into your own eyes.
Notice what arises.
What sensations, emotions, or thoughts does it evoke?
If you enjoy movement or dance, you may explore watching your body move in front of the mirror with appreciate rather than judgement.
For couples
Mutual eye gazing may be more challenging, and more powerful, than one might expect.
Set a timer for 2-3 minutes and gaze into each others’ eyes without touching or talking.
Talk about your experience afterwards.
Explore any emotions, sensations, or thoughts that you became aware of during the exercise.
Alternatively, your partner may enjoy a striptease to some sexy music.
SMELL
Solo connection and for couples
Light some scented candles, essential oils, or incense to create atmosphere.
Keep it simple as too many scents can be overwhelming.
Solo connection
You can also have a variety of herbs, spices, and other aromatic items. Inhale the scents and notice sensations, thoughts, or memories that may arise for you. Be curious about which scents you like.
For couples
Talk about your experience afterwards.
Explore any emotions, sensations, or thoughts that you became aware of during the exercise.
Alternatively, your partner may enjoy a striptease to some sexy music.
SOUND
Solo connection
Play some music you like, either in the background or to move to.. Music is great for ambience and providing rhythms to dance to.
You can also choose to read something aloud to yourself, or listen to an audio story.
For couples
Play some music you both like. You can do this for ambience, or you can move to the music in unison.
Alternatively, you can choose to read something aloud to each other, or create an adventurous, playful, or sexy story together.
TOUCH
Solo connection
Explore gentle self-touch or massage. Play with different pressure, pace, and texture. Or wrap your arms around yourself in a gentle self-hug. Notice what it feels like to offer your own body care and attention.
For couples
Use different textures to caress each other’s skin; soft fabric, a feather, or warm hands.
Use massage oil or scented lotion and offer your partner a massage or take turns to massage each other. Let it be less about technique, and more about presence and connection.
ENJOY every minute of this time of connection – have fun, be curious, and explore on your own, or together with your partner.
When we feel safe, we play.
For the love of pleasure!
Elizabeth
xx
